Atonement
by Kenhime
Summary: What is atonement? For five young men who bloodstained their hands for peace, they can't find the answer. In AC 197, one vengeful man strips Heero away his certainties and the girl he loves, leaving him to search for the answer to atonement.
1. Normal

Title: Atonement: To Love, Protect, and Forgive

Author: Kenhime

Genre: Drama/Romance/Action

Disclaimer: -_- I don't own Gundam Wing, but I do own the new characters in the story.

Author's Note: Non-yaoi pairings: 1xR, 2xH, basically.  Contemplating on 3xM, and there's a nonexistent 4xD.  In fact...what do you think about the 3x4?

Prologue: Normal

                With a sigh, Heero leaned his head against a shadowing lone wall of what used to be an office building, one bloodied hand clutching a gun and the other holding his throbbing temples.  Ground was covered with gray ashes as it danced gently with the breeze, the foul stench of gunpowder and blood in the air.  He closed his eyes, feeling his tensed muscles relax and the frantic flow of adrenaline slow down.  If he kept on fighting these vigorous battles like the one he had minutes earlier, it would sooner or later take a great toll on his body. 

                _"How long are you going to stay in this void, Heero?" a soprano voice, soft and melodious, penetrated his acute senses.   His eyes snapped open and found its speaker, a petite girl, standing just out of the shade he sat underneath.  Her back turned towards him as she looked far into the distance, her porcelain-like hands folded neatly on her back.  The folds of her blinding white dress blew in the gust of wind.  It was at the moment she appeared that, to his surprise, a single small snowflake floated down.  He opened one hand and watched it come to daintily rest on his palm.  Many started to come down in the same manner, slowly and lovely, like it was sent from the heavens above.  It had begun to snow.  She turned to face him, her auburn bangs brushing against her forehead and accenting her impassive dark blue eyes.  The sight of her face caused a flicker of recognition in Heero's Prussian blue eyes before it became identically vacant as hers.  "Well?"_

_                "I don't understand what you mean about this void," he answered truthfully.  Her eyes narrowed slightly at his reply, but she remained expressionless._

_                "It won't be long, Heero, before you know what I mean."_

He shot up from his bed, a trembling hand reached forward to the girl that was no longer there.  The erratic beating of his heart rang strongly in his ears and sweat dripped down his face in beads.  Another nightmare.  It started out like any other of the nightmares that tormented him every night: full of bloodshed and screams.  But the dream ended very different than it usually would.  How odd.  He shook his head to stop the ringing and ran a hand through his disheveled brown locks of hair.  Tentatively, as if to not fall from dizziness, the young man stood up from his bed and half walked, half-stumbled into the bathroom, clutching onto the doorframe for support.  Splashing icy cold water onto his pale face, he glanced up at the mirror above the sink to see the reflection of the bathroom clock.  It indicated four in the morning.  Looked like he wouldn't be getting anything more than three hours of sleep today.  Well, he never slept well often anyway.

                Not bothering to wipe his face with a towel, he walked out to the apartment kitchen.  Absently, he began to make coffee.

                He had not dreamt of her until now.  There was a feeling of premonition that something drastic was about to happen, but he pushed it away, the logical, more dominant part of his mind telling him that everything was over and life was supposed to be normal now since the war was over.  

                Normal.

                He scoffed bitterly.  It wasn't that he didn't like the peace; he just felt so out of place.  The war had marred his childhood and his innocence.  He had once believed that there was no way out of this insane circle of meaningless fighting.  But now, as he lived among civilians, he would see young children running around laughing and carefree.  A small part of him longed to be like them before he darkly crushed the yearning; he would never be able to return to that kind of happiness.  Even though he sat with other college students his age, he felt old, too old to be among the likes of his cheerful peers.  For that reason, this new calm life didn't seem normal to him.  He had no attachment at all to these people, the very same peaceful civilians he had fought to protect two years earlier.  The only 'attachment' he had was those he fought along with—but even then, his callousness made no way for close relationships between his former colleagues either, unless he considered Duo's one-sided (on Duo's side, not his) friendship one.

                He paused to reevaluate statement, remembering all the times he was with Duo in war, like that time Duo rescued him out of the Alliance hospital or when they were penetrating the defenses of the colony X18999.

                Okay, so maybe it wasn't one-sided and perhaps he did have a close relationship with a few of the people—which only consisted of Duo and Relena.

                The coffee maker made a small buzzing sound, startling him out of his reverie.  He poured the black liquid into a mug and began to sip it, the hot fluid sliding down his throat.  He continued to contemplate.

                Why he had thought of Relena so suddenly eluded him.  She meant everything to him, but yet he could barely understand why.  Perhaps, ever since they first met, Relena seemed to offer him a way out of the insanity.  Just like _she did...  He lowered his chin, pouring more coffee into his mouth.  He knew he needed Relena—she was the only one who could rest his troubled soul.  _

                But the 'Dove of Peace' seemed so golden, something he couldn't touch.  With her clear azure eyes that seemed to instill hope and peace in the hearts of others, her lucid voice that reached the souls of those who heard it, and the way she carried herself with the elegance of a natural-born princess, she had captured the hearts of many world and space wide.  She was everyone's angel while he was a soldier, a boy who had stained his hands with the blood of many lives, even if it was for peace.   So he kept himself distant, his eyes watchful of her every move.  Just watching the young woman would just be enough for him, he always told himself, but deep inside, he knew it wouldn't be enough.  

                Even in the days of peace, he still couldn't find his own peace—something was stopping him from being tranquil.  It was a logical reason for all his nightmares and insomnia.  

                And it was an illogical reason for him to need her so much, his mind pointed out.

                But his heart said otherwise.  She was the _only one who could save him._

                The loud _beep_ rang from his bedroom, signaling to him that he had email.  He pushed his thoughts about Relena to the back of his mind and considered the present matters at hand.  Setting the mug on the counter, he walked back into his bedroom and opened the cover of his sleek laptop that he kept on twenty-four hours a day to read the awaiting message.

~~~***~~~

                The morning sun's gentle rays filtered through the tall glass windows as Relena Dorlian walked through the hallway, its spots of light dancing on her golden hair.  The wonderful weather outside filled her with a contented feeling, making her feel all the more prepared to take on the strenuous work her duty as Vice Foreign Minister had given her today.  After bidding her co-workers with a cheerful good morning, she opened the door to her spacious office room.  

                A large window completely covered the far wall from the ground to the ceiling, showing the bustling city street four stories down below.  Her window faced to the north, as to allow some but not all sunlight through the glass.  The young seventeen-year-old gazed at her room from her position at the doorway, still awed by its vastness even after two years she had started working in there.  A large oak desk and a large black chair stood facing against the window, along with two smaller black chairs for the guests, two file cabinets were situated at the corner, an extensive bookcase of folders stood at the left wall, and a large couch with the coffee table opposite of the bookcase completed the picture.  

                After her routine survey of her room, she walked in, closing the door behind her, and set her slim black leather suitcase on the smooth top of the desk.  "Good morning, Hee-chan," she cheerfully greeted the small teddy bear that sat along the taped-up card it originally came with on the corner of her desk.  Ignoring the large stack of papers that sat conspicuously on the corner of her neat desk, she turned to look out the window, smiling warmly at the people below.  She could see a young girl of probably five years beaming, her mouth open wide in a laugh, as she tugged her mother's hand.  An elderly couple held hands as they made a leisurely walk with their golden retriever.  Two giggling girls ran to meet their other friends in their walk to school.  This—this was what she worked hard for and still did.  Looking at these peaceful people had given her encouragement to continue her work, no matter the stress and pressure it gave her.

                Taking a deep breath, Relena glanced at the papers determinedly, ready to tackle them all for the day along with those boring talkative diplomats who would start to come in by the next hour.

                By the time she had reached one third of the work papers and talked to four politicians concerning about the Mars Terraforming Project, it was already a half past noon.  She stood up from her chair and stretched, cranking her stiff neck.

                "Relena, there's a call for you on line one," her receptionist appeared at the doorway, holding a can of soda.

                "Thanks, Elaine."  She pressed the receive button on the video-phone to see a wide grin of a particularly cheerful young man.  She knew no one who had that grin other than the illustrious former pilot of the Deathscythe, Duo Maxwell.

                "Hey, 'Jousan, what'cha doin' today?"  She slumped down on her chair, shaking her head and smiling at the sound of his little nickname for her.  Duo would never change, during or after a war.  She still remembered that time he shot Heero in the arm when the pilot of Gundam 01 had pointed a gun in her face.  Relena admired how Duo was always exuberant, even in the darkest times, and his good heart, although he did brainless things once in awhile.  Since the time she met Hilde at Battleship Libra, they had shared a close bond.  Both of them knew at least one of the Gundam pilots and both of them wanted to help them as much as they could.  And now, both of them loved two of the Gundam pilots.  The three of them were so close that when the couple moved to Earth, they chose an apartment that was only a block away from her home.

                "Just as usual, Duo.  How are you doing today?" she asked.

                "Just fine, Relena!"  He jerked a thumb over his right shoulder.  "Hilde's out with the dog, but she'll come back soon.  It's been borin' lately and we haven't talked, so we're wondering if you wanna eat lunch with us."  Her face lit up in pleasure and she could only nod enthusiastically to show her happiness.  He laughed heartily at her reaction.  "Man, it sucks to be dragged down with that kinda job."

                She smiled sheepishly.  "No, but I find it nice to go out of my work sometimes to ease the stress."

                "Well, whatever ya say."  A door slammed in the background and a voice, which Relena recognized as Hilde's, called his name.  "We'll pick ya up in ten minutes, 'kay?"

                "Sure," she answered before the screen flashed and turned blank.  Tapping her finger on the desk, she wondered what she was going to do for ten minutes.  She had no heart to look at more paperwork, especially when she was ravenous from lack of food for the past six hours (a wonder she could still fit in her clothes with her large appetite).  "Don't want to work either, huh?" she asked the teddy bear and grinned.  "Well, it's not like you work anyway.  Want to play with me?"  She stood up from her chair and picked up the teddy bear, twirling and dancing around with the stuffed animal in her arms.

                "I am Relena Peacecraft Dorlian, Vice Foreign Minister of United Earth Alliance Nations and the former Sanc Kingdom's Princess Peacecraft," she told Hee-chan.  "But I am—now and forevermore—just plain Relena." She smirked, shaking her head at it.  "No, Hee-chan, I'm not what people say.  I'm just a seventeen-year-old girl whose education only went as far as high school private.  I can't go to college because of this job.  I'm just a teenager who has to live by herself, protected by those," she wrinkled her nose, "fools that surround my apartment complex like the Great Wall of China and call themselves security.  I have no privacy at all and it's suffocating me!" she threw her hands up in despair.  The VIP bitterly remembered that incident where she had accidentally dropped her shampoo bottle in the shower, causing a sound loud enough for three security guards to rush into her bathroom and ask if she was all right.  She had a large vein popping out on her forehead while she spoke to them with a calm—on-the-edge-of-exploding calm—manner that she was _not fine because three __men had walked in on her __naked.  It took them awhile to figure out in their dense brains to leave the apartment quietly or their lives would have been at stake.  Thanked goodness that the shower curtain was dark blue and not transparent when that happened!  "It's no wonder I'm still single and that I never had an escort at all in any of the parties I attended.  Oh woe is me!" she said sardonically.  It was at that moment Elaine opened the door, revealing an odd Relena standing in the middle of the office, on one leg and holding a stuffed animal up in the air.  The perturbed secretary coughed, catching the attention of her employer, who immediately dropped her awkward pose and blushed slightly._

                "Yes, Elaine?" she said in an authoritative tone as she put Hee-chan back in his little spot on the desk.

                Elaine began to stammer, blushing to the roots of her hair.  "Uh—Ms. Schbeiker and—and Mr. Maxwell is here."

                Frowning a little in concern, Relena asked, "Are you all right Elaine?  You seem to be anxious."

                "It—it's nothing, Relena.  I'm fine," she insisted.  Although Relena didn't push further to see what was on her employee's mind, she was wondering what could make her usually stern secretary blushing so much.

                "Hey!" Duo appeared behind Elaine, a hand raised in greeting.  Elaine jumped at the sight of Duo and shakily backed away from him, disappearing to her own desk outside.

                "Duo, what did you do?" Relena interrogated him, knowing for sure that the braided idiot had done something.

                "What?  I didn't do anything," he innocently put his hands up.

                "Hi, Relena!" Hilde walked in, giving her friend a hug.  "How are you doing?"

                "Hey! I'm doing fine, Hilde," she smiled before she nodded her head in Duo's direction.  "Can you tell me what Duo did to Elaine?"  

                Hilde rolled her eyes, jerking a thumb at Duo's chest.  "Remember that time when he couldn't get through the door to see you so he had to use his so-called 'wit'" she emphasized the word with her two fingers, "to get through?"

                "Oh...that's right.  I guess she still remembers how he scandalized her in such a way."

                "Hey!" Duo protested.  "I didn't scandalize her, I just—"

                "Right, right, Duo, you just told her that you were a male stripper sent in by the Preventers to entertain Relena," Hilde cut in nonchalantly.  

                "And you were also wearing your priest clothes," Relena added.  The two young women crossed their arms and shot meaningful looks at him with their eyebrows raised.

                "Okay, okay, I shouldn't have done that," Duo mumbled.  "Can we go to lunch now? I'm starving!"  With that said the three left the office complex and walked down the boulevard to eat at the street café _Toby's.  The small popular café was situated outdoor, with red checkered cloth tables and waitresses dressed in blue skirts and white blouses.  After they had made their orders, Duo updated Relena on what the other Gundam pilots were doing._

                "Quatre's comin' to some conference here, so he's probably gonna stop by and see ya.  I haven't kept in touch with Mr. Clown but looks like he's doin' fine, with the circus 'n all.  Wufei's still a Preventer, workin' with Sally.  And Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Damn Yuy," he glared, "is still not giving a damn.  He's out there in space somewhere probably.  Haven't talked to me since those missions we had half a year ago, that idiot."

                "Duo!" Hilde elbowed her boyfriend in the chest for the sake of Relena.  "You know better!"

                He frowned, "But I can't forgive him for leavin' the amazing babe Relena alone like this!"  In response, the 'amazing babe' blushed wildly, struggling to restrain herself from pounding his head in, knowing that if she did attempt to beat some sense into his head, he would not become any smarter and the people would think her odd and unfit to be the elegant 'Miss Relena Dorlian.'  Fortunately for her, Hilde knew Relena's intention and did just that for the sake of her friend and of course herself.  Being with Duo so long, Hilde's only way from running down the street screaming bloody murder in her frustration with the idiot was to beat him up.

                "Never—" _whack_, "ever—" _whack_, "call—" _whack, "Relena—" __whack, "a babe!" She finished her scolding with a nice punch to the face.  Relena gave her a grateful look as Duo pouted, rubbing his abused head._

                "Fine, fine, babe, I won't!"

                "MAXWELL!" His girlfriend's tone threatened him with more than _mere_ bruises on the head, something he knew from experience.  The Shinigami raised his hands in surrender to prevent any damage Hilde's wrath might do to the café and most importantly, to him.

                "Okay, okay, Hilde!"  Pouting, he grumpily crossed his arms.  "But I'm still mad at Hee-man for making you suffer like this."  Relena smiled gratefully, patting on his arm in a comforting gesture.

                "It's okay, Duo.  I know you are worried about how I'm feeling, I appreciate that.  But I'm sure Heero's too busy.  Besides..." She trailed off, her cerulean eyes briefly distant and wistful.

                "Besides?" Hilde prodded her to continue.

                "Besides, I know he's there...  Somewhere, looking after me..." When she realized what she had said, her eyes lost its pensive gaze and she sheepishly looked down.  "I know that would seem arrogant to think that, but I just have the feeling of being protected by him."  The couple stared at Relena for a moment before they both simultaneously sighed, shaking their heads.

                "Really, and I thought _I_ was the idiot instead of him..." Duo frowned.

                "It's been a year already, you have to move on," said Hilde.

                The hopeful young woman sighed, "Hilde, he is what makes me move on.  Without him, I wouldn't have gotten this far.  As long as he is there, I have the strength to overcome obstacles that keep me from what I want to achieve.  I...I love him, and even if he doesn't feel the way I do, just to see him smile and just to love him would make me happy."

                "Okay then, Relena.  I understand how strong your feelings are, but I don't want you to get hurt," Hilde took Relena's hand in hers.

                "Anytime you need something, just ask us," offered Duo, shaking her shoulder in a friendly gesture.   "When we spot a Heero somewhere, we'll gag him and bring him to ya, packaged with shipping and handling." Then he added, mischief glittering in his violet eyes, "If you wanna, we can strip him down to his boxers just for the fun of it."

                "Duo!"  Hilde exclaimed, but she couldn't help grinning just as evilly as him.   "But with those spandex shorts he used to wear, do you think he even wears boxers?"

                "Don't know, but we can find out," he replied.  "Here's what we're gonna do..." He began to lay out the plan to kidnap his stoic friend with his accomplice, both of them sniggering along the way.  Relena could only just sit there until the lunch was served, too embarrassed and appalled to say anything.

~~~***~~~

                Duo and Hilde arrived back at their apartment an hour later, still laughing about their devious plan.  The apartment was small, but furnished stylishly.  The walls were a soft light blue; the large windows wide open with its peach curtains blowing softly in the gentle wind.  After putting away her purse and jacket, Hilde went through the mail they had picked up on the way home.  Then, suddenly, two arms encircled her stomach, trapping her in a bear hug.  

                "Hey!" she exclaimed, feeling Duo's breath on her neck.  She didn't have to look to see that he was grinning.

                "You smell good..." Duo murmured as he continued to hug her.  Blushing, Hilde laughed as she patted the back of his head.  "And the way you laugh...  Finally, all that I dreamed of came true.  I don't want to ever wake up outta this dream."

                "Duo...it's not a dream..." she sighed.  "We're in peace now.  Look..." she gestured at the bedroom window.  Releasing his death grip on Hilde, Duo walked to the window and glanced down.

                A group of children were playing tag near the street, their voices loud enough for the two to hear.  "One...two...three!" a boy looked around to find his friends, who hid and tried to stifle their giggles.  "Gotcha!" he caught a girl hiding behind a tree.  Laughing, he chased after her as she squealed.

                "Do you see any shadow of war in there?" Hilde asked as she came to stand in front of him.  "Well, do you?"  He shook his head.  She touched his cheeks with her hands, bringing his head closer to her.  "You haven't settled down one bit.  You need to believe that this peace will last for a very long time, longer than our lives."  Touching her hand on his cheek, he closed his eyes and replied.

                "I know.   But sometimes, it feels like this is some illusion and that I would wake up inside of Deathscythe.  I always worry that someday I'll lose the ones I wanna protect.  I wanted to protect Father Maxwell and Sister Helen so much, but they died in front of me, a helpless kid.  I don't want it to happen again.  Not again, Hilde."  Then, his eyes shot open, revealing buoyant amethyst depths.  "But I'm the Shinigami now.  And no one—I repeat—NO ONE messes with DA Shinigami!  So as long as you're here with me, your life's one-hundred-percent secured!"

                "Oh, really, huh?" Hilde raised an eyebrow as she put her hands on her hips.  "No one messes with the Shinigami?  I think I'm one exception."  She grabbed the scissors sitting on the table, grinning cruelly as she made cutting motions with it.  "It's time to cut your braid."  He gulped in the throat and dashed out of the door, holding his brown hair, his vanity and pride, in his hands to try to protect it from the evil shears.  "Hey, COME BACK HERE!  Cutting your hair is the sign of maturity.  Relena cut her hair too!"

                "But I'm not Relena!" he yelled back.  Hilde let out a groan, but she took on a determined mission to cut that braid of his, even if she had to run all over the city to do it.

~~~***~~~

                The sun was beginning to make its daily descent when a tall man climbed out of a black limousine, tugging at the stiff collar of his black suit.  He had rugged good lucks and long blonde hair that was tied up in a low ponytail, but he held a powerful, commanding presence, his face business-like and grim as he waited for the space shuttle slow to a stop.  When the shuttle stairs were properly placed under the entrance, the door shot open and stepped out a man holding a bag.  He paused in the middle of the stairs, feeling the gentle rush of wind in the night's coming.  The last rays of the sun reflected on his bright red spikes that were cut short on his head, but his hazel eyes remained dark and brooding. Then, flicking a spiked bang out of his eyes, he came down the stairs and greeted the other man with a nod.

                "Mr. Asayuki," the waiting man said, deftly taking the bag from the other.  "How was your trip?"

                "It was fine.  Are all the preparations in order?" the man called Asayuki asked in a calm tone.

                "Yes sir," he replied as he opened the door for the other to go in first.  Once Asayuki got in, he went in after, closing the door and telling the driver to start.

                "Excellent.  When will the others arrive, Glenn?'  

                "All by the end of next week."

                "Very well.  And call me Akito."

                "By your command, Akito," Glenn replied respectfully.  The rest of the ride remained silent, both men brooding to themselves.  And as Akito Asayuki looked out the window, he saw the ghostly image of a girl in the last glows of the day and smiled.

                _"It's been two years, hasn't it, sister?  It is now time to take my vengeance,"_ he thought to himself, "_At last, he will suffer as much as I have!"_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sources: Croik's Essay: http://croik.com/essays/gundamwing/

                GWNET: http://gundamwing.net/lagrange02/scripts.html

Croik's Essay was VERY helpful in understanding the characters and I believe that HEERO IS HUMAN.  HUMAN!  =_=  Even though I tend to make him impassive, I try not to have him be like that! I try to make the relationships reasonable and close to the cannon, so basically this one's full of HxR and DxH and not really anything else.  If you don't believe in these pairings, take a look at Croik's Essay.

I would like to thank Fierysable for everything.  ^_^ You forced me to take this story out, dust it off, and rewrote it.  Then you helped me by beta reading and through that I improved my writing.  These words can't really express my immense gratitude to you, but there is no other way I can say it.  I'll continue to write this story and sincerely hope that this will be the first story I will ever finish.  Really hope... *sweatdrop*

I also would like to say something to Black Rose.  You were, in fact, my first beta reader.  I know it has been more than three years since I had emailed you my first draft of Atonement and I do not know if you are actually reading this.  You told me not to give up on a story, that when you submit it, you have to be sure if you can finish it.  In fact, I will not work on any other story until I finish it.  I owe a lot to you in a way that I said that I would finish it three years ago, but I didn't update, and in a way, I believe I have disappointed you.  I think I disappointed myself as well.  But by the time you're reading this, I can really swear that I will finish it.  I WILL!  *raises fist in determination*


	2. Discord

Title: Atonement: To Love, Protect, and Forgive

Author: Kenhime

Genre: Drama/Romance/Action

Disclaimer: -_- I don't own Gundam Wing, but I do own the new characters in the story.

Summary: What is atonement? For five young men who bloodstained their hands for peace, they can't find the answer. In AC 197, one vengeful man strips Heero away his certainties and the girl he loves, leaving him to search for the answer to atonement.

Author's Note: This one is the second chapter.  Please read the prologue before this one.  ^_^

Chapter 1: Discord

                It was late morning and wonderful weather, with the sun shining above and a few clouds moving idly about.  Duo was walking the dog at that time of day, enjoying the mild breezes and greenery of the park.  He was especially cheerful because while Hilde did catch him the other day, she only managed to cut off one inch of his three-foot-long braid.  While it was a loss on his part, it was a small one and besides, his hair could grow another inch in a couple of months.

                "Nice day, eh, Buddy?" Duo grinned at his furry pet, who barked in response.  "Livin' here on Earth is sure nice."

                "Mr. Duo Maxwell, pilot of Gundam 02, Deathscythe HELL," a voice behind him bluntly spoke, causing the owner of the title to stop abruptly and turn around in the direction of the voice with a glare.  Five men in black suits and sunglasses stood with hands folded in the back.  Duo couldn't help snorting.  He has seen too many bad guys dressed in that kind of outfits and looking like the CIA.

                "_Former_ pilot," Duo corrected in a clipped tone.  "What do ya want?"

                "Your life."  The same man spoke, cocking his gun straight at Duo.  Unflinchingly, the Shinigami looked straight into the other man's eye.

                "Then come n' get it."  As if on cue, they blurred into action.  One man aimed a punch at Duo, but he ducked and countered with a vicious uppercut, the dog leash still gripped in one hand.  Right after, Duo dropped to the floor and did a low kick, tripping the man as he recovered from the punch.  Duo gave him a nasty kick to the head to silence the felled man.  The leader himself let out a good amount of expletives as he tried to aim at the former Gundam pilot, but he was too fast.

                The dog took part in the fight as well, biting the second man's ankle.  Cursing, the man took out a pistol, intending to kill it, when Duo punched him hard across the face, making him reel and fall.  Stealing the pistol from his hands, the braided soldier swung the gun across the man's head, taking him out.  The last man, the leader, still stood with his gun raised and smirked.  He pulled the trigger, but ex-Gundam pilot was too quick, for he ducked and one-handedly shot the man in the leg.

                "Looks like you can't have it, bastards," he smiled wickedly.  The stunned men could only painfully moan in reply.  He then took the rest of their guns and threw it in the park's small swamp, saving only one for his use.

                "Come on, Buddy, we gotta go home," he told the dog, breaking into a run.  The dog followed closely behind.  He was panicking and utterly furious, hoping desperately that Hilde was safe at home.  He kept telling himself that those men were just after only him, no one else, but the nagging feeling of dread came over him.  

                As he reached the apartment complex, he noticed an unusual black Mercedes parked on the street and a muttered curse passed his lips before he sped up the stairs, almost choking the dog along the way.  The door was slightly ajar and he flung it wide open, panting and eyes wide as he saw the scene before him.  Three men, identically dressed as the group earlier, stood around the enormous man that held Hilde up in the air by the neck.  They all glanced at his direction, startled.  Barking, the dog ran past him and ambushed the large man, distracting him.  With a grunt of pain, the man released Hilde and she fell to the floor, gasping heavily.  If he wasn't enraged and Hilde wasn't so beaten up, Duo would have given his girlfriend's fighting skills credit.  Most of them sported bruises in the face and one even limped, his hand covering what made him a man.  Apparently, they underestimated her by bringing no weaponry. However, no matter how good she was at fighting, Hilde was outnumbered.

                Howling, he lunged at them, his fury engulfing him.  He punched them, kicked them, and tore their hair and limbs until they couldn't even move.  He wasn't so lenient with the strangler however and he continued to wildly attack him, blow after blow until the man was on the edge of death.  The punishment wasn't enough, not enough for the God of Death.  He took out the gun and aimed it at terrified man, feeling sadistic pleasure as the massive man weakly pleaded to spare him.

                "P-please...don't kill...me...!"

                Duo glowered.  "You don't deserve to live."

                A shiver went down Hilde's spine as she gazed at the appalling image of Death.  This...this was not Duo.  She reached her bruised hand out weakly at him, choking out as another wave of pain seized her, "Duo!"

                At the sound of his mortal name, the God of Death became Duo once more.  Forgetting about the strangler, who had by now passed out in emotional stress, he lowered his gun and ran to his girlfriend's side.  He didn't notice as the injured men struggled to pick up their unconscious colleague and escape the apartment before any more beatings ensue.  All he saw was the badly beaten up Hilde, feeling his heart stop in pain.  Her face was swollen with the beating and a small river of blood flowed down her temple.  When he helped her into an upright position, he felt her side sticky, oozing with the blood he had hoped would never be shed again since Libra.

                "Hilde?" he called her name, his voice small and trembling.

                "Duo..." she smiled, her voice hoarse.  She began to cough violently, more blood coming out of her mouth.  Duo wiped the blood off with his sleeve.  "I think I've broken a rib."

                "Don't worry.  I'm gonna take you to the hospital...Just hang on," he spoke quietly, scooping up her petite form in his arms.  "Stay here, Buddy," he ordered the dog as he went out the door.  He ran down the stairs as quickly as he could and arrived at the ground to call a taxi.  A taxi didn't come and Duo desperately looked for some other kind of transportation.  Across the street, he spotted a man languidly sitting in an open red sports car, listening to loud techno music.  Shifting Hilde's weight on his arms, he approached the car.

                "Hey, what're you doing?" the bewildered man exclaimed.  Ignoring him, Duo gently laid Hilde at the back seat of the car and jumped into the front seat.  The driver looked at Hilde and let out an expletive.

                "Take us to the hospital," he snapped, sparing no glance at the man next to him.

                "What the hell—"Duo smoothly took out the pistol he had saved earlier and pointed the barrel at the man's thigh.

                "NOW," he threatened.  The man raised his hands in surrender and while shaking his head, turned on the engine.

~~~***~~~

                The circus was in chaos.  Ear-splitting screams, cries of lost children, and shouting calls were filled everywhere as people tried to flee from the area as possible.  The civilians rushed out in teeming masses, pushing down equipment and leaving food scattered on the floor.  The rest of the circus group was frantically packing up the equipment they were able to spare, their cars screeching away to safety.  However, the calm ex-pilot of Gundam Heavyarms stayed to wait for his sister and assess the fear.  A mobile suit stood menacingly at the front of the circus, aiming its powerful beam gun at the arena.  Catherine was a few feet away, evacuating as many of the circus attendees, trying to be composed in the face of peril like her brother.

                "A Serpent mobile suit," he identified the threat thoughtfully.  Why it would be here was not a difficult question to answer, but who sent it to wreck the circus performance made him curious.  Trowa frowned a little.  With his Gundam already destroyed, he would not be able to fight off the mobile suit.  The use of conventional weapons like bombs and guns would be of no use in harming the thick armor made of Neo Titanium alloy.  After all, a lightweight material _was _almost as strong as Gundanium alloy.

                "Trowa!" Catherine shouted, fear flashing in her blue-grey eyes.  "The people have left already!  Let's go!"  Turning around, Trowa was about to join her and escape, when he looked back and saw the machine's finger slowly pressing the trigger.  Narrowing his eyes, he ran to Catherine and hastily grabbed her wrist.    Shooting a quick glance at the weapon as they were running out of the arena, he could see the heat energy forming around the barrel of the blaster gun.  He pulled Catherine along faster, his heart pounding in his ears as he fervently hoped they could escape it.  The shot was fired, pushing the suit backwards in recoil.  Force of the blast sent Trowa and his sister flying to the ground.  He covered her to protect her from the flying debris.  The ground rumbled in the explosion and smoke engulfed them.  He pulled Catherine up once the flare-up settled down and looked at the crater that had almost reached them by inches.  They both ran out of the smoke, coughing out the smoke that had filled their lungs.  The edges of their clothes were burnt and Catherine's sleeve was torn off, but they got away with so much as a bruise or cut. ****

                "Catherine, are you all right?"

                "I'm fine.  Thank you, Trowa," she rasped out.  "Let's leave."  He didn't reply as he stared at the mobile suit, which motionlessly stood a couple feet away from the crater.  She touched his arm hesitantly.  "Trowa?"

                "The pilot of that mobile suit wants to deliver one more message."  Sticking his thumbs in the pockets of his green pants, he began to walk to the Serpent.  "Stay here, Catherine, I'll be back in just a few minutes," he shot her a meaningful glance over his shoulder.  She opened her mouth to protest and then let out a sigh instead.

                "That boy," she muttered in annoyance as she crossed her arms.  "When he gets back, he better have more than 'stay here, Catherine, I'll be back in just a few minutes' to say to me!  I want answers, dammit!"

                When Trowa approached the machine, the entrance door was released, the pressure steam surging out of the opening.  Out of the shadows, the black-suited pilot appeared and stood near the edge of the small standing platform.  The pilot glanced down at Trowa's relatively small form on the ground, both of them watching each other.  There was something he felt familiar about the mysterious pilot, like if he had seen him before.  The former Gundam pilot narrowed his eyes, silently demanding the pilot to reveal himself.

                Then, as if finally coming to a thought-out decision, the Serpent's pilot slowly pulled off his helmet, revealing a young woman's face.  Strands of dark blonde hair cascaded down her neck from its holdings in the helmet and two long bangs fell to frame her face.  And although Trowa immediately recognized her, nothing betrayed any emotion in his bottomless emerald eyes.  However, wearing the indifferent façade of a soldier did not stop a faint shudder from going down his spine as he felt the immense hatred and bitterness that lurked in her icy grey depths.  She spoke the next words, quietly but loud enough for his acute sense of hearing to pick up.  To an ordinary person, she may have sounded nostalgic in her greeting but laid beneath her calm words were venom and cold fury that only Trowa could detect.

                "Seven years pass... And now you are no longer the traveler looking for a home...  Now you are no longer without a name..." Her silver eyes narrowed slightly as a grim smile played about her lips.  "_But are you no longer with a past?"_

~~~***~~~

                The school hall was completely empty when Heero burst open the entrance doors, striding toward the double doors at the end of the hall.  Sounds of applause could be heard from the auditorium and the lucid voice of its powerful speaker resonated in high-quality speakers, the people inside unaware of what would take place.  He looked at his watch and let out a curse; there wasn't much time left.  Slamming the auditorium doors open, he ran down the middle isle, paying no attention to the startled high school students or the intercepting teachers.  The Preventer guards present at the site walked on the stage, puzzled at Heero's sudden appearance.  Heero Yuy was a well-known but rarely seen member of the group.

                Relena was startled at first to find a familiar brown tousle-headed man coming in her direction in the middle of her speech, but it clicked in her mind that there could be someone committing an assassination.  From her experience, she knew Heero never comes except in times of trouble.  As that thought left her, Heero had jumped up the stage and pushed her down, the sound of a bullet whizzing past them.  He was just in time.  Students screamed in fright as the panicked teachers hurriedly escorted them out of the room.  With the ease of a perfect soldier, he fired back another bullet, Relena still underneath him.  She could barely comprehend what was going on, her heart beating rapidly in trepidation.  In the background, the leader of the bodyguards shouted out orders.

                "Mr. Yuy, how did you know about the assassination—" the leader asked as he approached him.

                "Instinct," Heero curtly replied as he got off the young woman and helped her up with a hand.  "You failed to protect the Vice Foreign Minister."

                The guard glanced away, unable to meet Heero's accusing gaze.  "Yes sir," he mumbled reluctantly.  "However, we did find a would-be assassin earlier.  I sent in two to watch the area, making sure no other attempts would be made."  Heero did not respond as he whipped out his cell phone and dialed a number. 

                Turning away from Heero, the Preventer glanced at Relena, who was listening wide-eyed.  "Miss Dorlian, are you all right?" She nodded silently, rubbing the bruised spot on her head that had come in contact with the ground from the shove.  

                Something was amiss.  If what the man said was true, then the assassin must have been one or both of the Preventers sent to guard.  Although Heero was reluctant to admit it, a spy—a very skillful spy—had infiltrated the impenetrable Preventers. He tapped his foot impatiently until Lady Une picked up the call.

                "Lady Une, I want data of all the Preventers," he ordered.  "Put all them at site right now under detention.  I'll explain later.  Now get me through to Quatre's conference.  As he waited for the second call to go through, he turned to face the bodyguard captain.

                "All those under your command as of right now are under detention for the suspicion of spying.  Report to the main branch right now and any person who fails to report will be arrested.  Orders from the Lady Une," he said sharply to the appalled man.  "Relena is now under my protection.  Go now."  With that, he gestured for Relena to follow him before walking away.  By the time Quatre received Heero's call, the two were already in Heero's black civic and driving.

                "Are you at the conference right now? ...I see.  I'm going to send Relena under your protection.  Contact the others with your cell and report to Preventers HQ.  ...I'll be there in ten minutes. ...Relena will tell you."  He ended the call and glanced at Relena.  "Have you talked to Quatre?"

                She furrowed her eyesbrow pensively, "I met him at the airport.  Why?"

                "He was almost killed at conference."  She let out a small gasp and he continued on.  "A man interrupted the meeting and aimed a gun at Quatre, but one of his Maganacs pushed the man down before he fired.  He was arrested, but somehow he escaped from the car."  Relena shook her head, wearily covering her eyes with her forearm.

                "I can understand why some would want to kill me.  But to kill Quatre..."  Heero didn't reply and they were silent for the some long moments until Relena asked, "Tell me, how did you know I was about to be killed?"  A faint spark of wry humor touched her eyes as she added, "No matter how good you are it couldn't have been instinct, Heero."

                "It wasn't.  A warning was given to me from an anonymous caller."

                She couldn't find another word to say than "Oh."  For the rest of the ride, not another word was spoken.  At times, Heero would glance at her with the corner of his eyes, always finding her absorbed in watching the passing scenery.  For a short time, he wondered what was in her thoughts or how she was reacting to his sudden appearance, but he reminded himself that there were serious matters to consider.  That email he received the other day alarmed him.  How he wasn't prepared for the warning the message held or the events that had taken place today, especially the fact that a spy had gotten into the Preventers Agency without his notice, infuriated him.  If he hadn't been ignorant, this wouldn't have happened.  He wouldn't have to immediately leave for Earth from the colonies and rush to save Relena...  Well, it was not like he didn't want to see her; he just didn't like the current circumstances in which he had to see her.  Anyway, back to the subject, he had a dreading suspicion that Quatre and Relena were not the only killing targets.  The two kanji the message held was proof that it wasn't those bitter soldiers who weren't used to peace or greedy men who lost a fortune in making mobile suits or whatnot.  It all had to deal with something more than that.  And what it was—Heero didn't want to think of it.

                Meanwhile, the subject of Heero's thoughts continued to stare out the window, her fingers touching the glass as the outside world passed her by.  In spite of the appalling events that took place that day, it felt like time has stopped in the car.  It was always like this when she was with Heero.  She closed her eyes, feeling the steady beat of her heart go quicker.

                _"I am Relena Peacecraft Dorlian, Vice Foreign Minister of United Earth __Alliance__ Nations and the former __Sanc__Kingdom__'s Princess Peacecraft," she remembered her own words.  You would think Relena would mature after those two years, and get over a childish crush.  But it became more than a crush.  He was her pillar of strength, the Gundam pilot who changed her to a better person and he didn't even know it._

                Slowly, Relena turned her head to observe Heero directly.  He had not changed at all and it seemed that the Prussian blue eyes were even more intense than before.  Reminded of their first meeting, she smiled faintly.  As if replying, he cocked his head at her, his hardened eyes interrogating her, but she said nothing.  Unable to get an answer from the young woman, the Gundam pilot brought his eyes back on the road and allowed Relena to continue her reflection and scrutiny.  

_I don't need him to love me, but I am happy to just love him like this. This will always be a secret, Heero, because I'm afraid to wreck this connection we both share.  But all I want is to see you smile one day...if only this had not happened..._

                Soon after, the car came to a stop and Heero turned off the ignition.  "Let's go," he shot her a look before he got out of the car.  Sighing, she opened the door and climbed out, slamming the door behind her.  Heero was already walking ahead of her, but she had no trouble catching up with his fast pace despite wearing high heels.  After all, having been with Heero several times, she was used to walking quicker than her usual gait.  Having no patience for the slow underground parking elevators, he went up two flights of stairs, his light footsteps making a faint echo followed by the shrill clacking of Relena's heels.  He waited for Relena to catch up with him at the top before he pushed the steel door open of her.  A little out of breath, she muttered a thank you to him as she walked through the door.   

                The main headquarters of the Preventers was one of the most breathtaking modern architectures of the time.  A world-famous architect volunteered to design the building in appreciation for the peace the Preventers were protecting.  Made with steel beams, there were two curved buildings with a dome-like building in the middle.  It represented two hands protecting the world, the symbol of the Agency.

                Heero flashed his ID at the front desk security man as he passed by.  The man didn't even both to ask for her identification.  She followed him numbly into the elevators, through doors and corridors, until they arrived at Quatre's office.  Relena wondered how Heero could remember the directions to the office.  In her case, she would have probably forgotten and ended up lost in the maze.  Heero turned the gold knob and pushed the door open, revealing a worry-stricken Quatre.  He had been pacing the floor so much Relena could almost see the trail his feet wore on the red carpet.

                "Heero, Miss Relena!" Quatre stopped in mid-pace, stepping forward to greet them.  "Please, come in!" he hastily gestured at the two quest seats before seating himself behind the desk.

                "What's worrying you, Quatre?" Relena asked, beating Heero to the question.

                His face was grim and he absently brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes.  "Trowa and Duo were under attack as well.  A Serpent demolished Trowa's circus tent.  Hilde's in the hospital." Relena grasped the arm holder tightly, her face filled with worry.  "And it seems that Wufei hasn't had trouble—yet."  He frowned as he met Heero's gaze.  "What do you think this is, Heero?"  There was an unusual hesitation in the other young man before he answered back.

                "It's not like the other missions we had.  It's..." There was another pause.  He unusually slumped back in his chair, his elbows propped up on the chair's arms and half of his face was hidden behind his joined hands.  

                The last word was barely a whisper.  "Revenge."  

                Quatre paled and bowed his head in silence, his blond bangs obscuring his turbulent aquamarine eyes.   Relena watched them sadly.  She understood that although the Gundam pilots brought peace, which was their original intention, they had to slaughter.  Taking the lives of soldiers was just the same as taking the lives of the people and now it was time they had to atone.  

                _Why did these boys, no older than seventeen, have to carry the heavy burden of guilt?  Because, _she thought bitterly_, they were kind, just too kind that they would rather fight than let others do it._

                "I wonder...  Why now?" Quatre asked quietly.  His question was left unanswered when Heero abruptly stood up from his chair, his hands shaking and clenching.

                "I need..." He let out a sigh, trying to soothe his rattled nerves.  "I need to take a walk.  Stay here with Quatre, Relena."  With that, he left the room.  For moments, the remaining two sat in silence.

                "I guess...he's taking it harder than I thought."  The former Gundam pilot smiled weakly.

                "Quatre..."  Relena hugged him, holding his head to her shoulder.  He turned his face into her comfort.

                "I can't find the answer, Miss Relena, the answer to atonement.  I don't think any of us know."

                "I'm sure that the answer will come to you.  Now is the time to atone and there's no way stopping it.  But," Relena held his face with her hands, her voice firm and unyielding, "if you kill yourself now just to satisfy someone's revenge, then all the lives you have taken away would all be in vain."

                "I know..." He closed his eyes briefly before he opened them.  "Thank you."

                Relena smiled, but she frowned in worry for her hospitalized friend.  "I need to leave to visit Hilde."

                "But—Heero just told us to..."

                "I know, I know.  But I need to see her." She shrugged, adding dryly, "And it's not like _he had ever stayed when I told him to."_

                The last statement convinced Quatre enough to consent, even though he didn't want to be at the wrong end of Heero's gun when he would find out.  "Fine, but I'll escort you."

~~~***~~~

                Sally Po walked into the lounge room to get a cup of coffee when she found her partner resting on a couch with his arms crossed and eyes closed.  She shook her head, smiling, as she took a paper cup and filled it with the black bitter liquid.  After mixing in the cream and sugar, she sat on the opposite couch from her associate, sipping the coffee.

                "Exhausted from today's scouting, Wufei?" she asked, amused.

                He opened an eye wearily to look at her.  "No.  Just thinking."

                "I see."  They sat in silence before a Preventer rushed into the room.  Sally set down her cup on the coffee table and Wufei sat up from his inclined position on the couch.  "What is it, Xi?"

                "Sally, Wufei!" he called breathlessly.  "Yang Heung has urgent news at the main computer room!"  The two others jumped up from their seats and followed the other man in haste.

                "What's up, Heung?" Sally asked as they entered the computer room and reached where the man she called Heung sat.  He was engrossed in the screen, typing furiously.

                "I've found the organization that backed up behind the Barton Foundation, the supplier of the Serpents," he responded.

                "At last, we tracked them down!" Wufei crossed his arms and smirked.  "What's the name and how did you find it?"

                "It doesn't say the name here, sir.  I was just back from lunch when I saw a code typed on the screen.  I decrypted the code and found this information linking to the Barton Foundation."  Heung snapped his fingers in triumph and took off his glasses to clean them.  "We've found the base.  All we need is the location and then it'll be gone."

                The former Altron pilot frowned, "It couldn't have just popped out of nowhere.  Try hacking into the source of the code and get the location."

                "Sir!" Hueng proceeded in hacking into the source code with no problem at all.  Wufei and Sally glanced at each other.  This was getting suspicious.  "Sir, I see—what?"  The screen turned blank and two large blinking kanji appeared.  A timer was set to ten seconds.

                "Get out!" Sally roared as she grabbed Heung's uniform, pulling him out of the chair.  The four Preventers scrambled out of the room, just barely reaching the hallway when the bomb exploded and shoved them violently to the ground.  Coughing and spluttering, they struggled to get up, their eyes staring in disbelief at the flaming computer room.

                Sally wiped the sweat off her brow and shot an authoritative glance at Xi.  "Call the fire department.  Now!" She turned to Heung, "Call for evacuation of this building!"  Swiftly, they ran to do their upset superior's bidding.  She saw her partner stand silently before the computer room, the licks of the flames reflected in those obsidian eyes.  "Wufei, what does that kanji mean?"  He met her stare with a foreboding calmness.

                "It says 'Jinchuu'.  It means... 'If Heaven spares you, then we will bring you to judgment.'  I'm guessing that would be the name of the organization," he answered quietly, a shadow crossing over his face.  "And it's probably the purpose of it as well.  They want to bring justice by their own hands to me, and most probably the other former Gundam pilots, who have killed many but received no punishment from Heaven."

~~~***~~~

                Jinchuu—that was all it said in the email and he immediately knew the other Gundam pilots and Relena would be in danger.  Heero punched the brick wall of an outlet building, leaving a noticeable denture.  He ignored the pain and the trickle of blood that went down his bruised knuckles.  It was not supposed to be happening.  Peace had arrived, yet people still can't forget the misery of war.  True, he had killed many and he, along with the other four, still carry the guilt...  But, like Quatre said, why now?  He bent his head down and dug his fingers into his palm, making his knuckles turn white.

                He continued to walk down the street, absorbed in his own dark mood.  Cars screeched as the irritated drivers slammed on the brakes, shouting expletives at the careless young man in front of them.  But Heero didn't hear them as he crossed the street into the park.

                "Hey!" exclaimed a girl as his shoulder collided with hers, but the complaint died on her lips when she saw his bland eyes.  He wordlessly passed her by and she stared at his back dumbly, wondering what was wrong with the young man.  

                He had told himself to mourn for the deaths in the war after the war had ended.  There was no need for kindness in battle and that there would be another time where he didn't have to be a soldier.  The war was now over and he no longer had to be a soldier, but the fighting still continued...in himself.  These uncertainties were in him since the day he said he didn't have to kill anymore.  It circled in his mind repeatedly as he walked until he fell to his knees, clutching his head in frustration.  He felt like going insane.

                He heard footsteps, the person's shadow blocking him from the light.  He glanced up and raised a hand to shield his eyes against the blinding orange-red rays of the setting sun in which surrounded the shadow.  When his vision focused in on the figure, his Prussian eyes widened.  There a young man dressed in all white stood in front of him, a psychotic grin on his pale face.  A picture of a boy in rags came to Heero's mind and he recognized the person before him, uttering the name numbly.

                "Akito..."  Then a girl, the same girl he saw in his dream, appeared beside the young man with the same impassive look on her face.  Heero's face paled and he was visibly trembling.  Heero extended his hand, as if to make sure she was real, but the girl faded away.  He turned to stare incredulously at Akito.

                "What's wrong, Heero Yuy?" His voice was acerbic and taunting as he continued to grin.  Akito's hazel eyes were madly lit with odd amusement and burning hatred.  "You look like you've seen my sister's ghost."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*dodges rotten potatoes and screaming DuoXHilde fans* Errr...it was for a purpose, readers!  Really!  I'm not sadistic!  It's just part of the plot!  *barely escapes from a scythe* Hey!  I won't be able to write some fluff for them if you kill me!  And don't worry; nothing comes as bad as this one!

Fierysable – My beta!  ^_^ Thank you even though I was annoying you a lot just to get it done!  I'll keep on working on the show vs. tell thing!  Man, it's difficult, but I'll try!

The Black Rose - You weren't harsh, but those words about keeping on a story stayed with me for a long while.  As of now I have seven chapters done, but I'll be updating one chapter for a chapter I finish.  I finished Chapter Six last week, but took me another week to edit.  But I'm glad to speak with you again.  =)

My other readers!  Thank you for your kind reviews and stay tuned for more chapters!


	3. Rude Awakening

Title: Atonement: To Love, Protect, and Forgive

Author: Kenhime

Genre: Drama/Romance/Action

Disclaimer: -_- I don't own Gundam Wing, but I do own the new characters in the story.

Summary: What is atonement? For five young men who bloodstained their hands for peace, they can't find the answer. In AC 197, one vengeful man strips Heero away his certainties and the girl he loves, leaving him to search for the answer to atonement.

Author's Note: This one was hard to write because of the focus on the characters.  I hope you'll be able to understand what I'm trying to say about the characters.  Just an update, this was revised a little.  ^_^;  I posted the first version up late at night, so I discovered my mistakes and decided to edit it once more.

Chapter 2: Rude Awakening

               "It was you..."  Heero murmured, realization dawning on his face.  "You're behind all this...  What are you doing?"

               "Do I need to remind you, Heero?" The curved lines on his face deepened.  "You seem to have forgotten my sister and me for two years."

               "You...where—"  

               "You killed my sister...leaving me with so much misery that I almost died of sickness," he interjected casually, absently flicking his bangs away from his eyes.  "For two years, I lived in Earth's hellhole known as America.  I stole food and if I couldn't, I killed and ate flesh, whether it was a rat or a human..."

               "Don't...don't say anymore," the other uttered, his fists clenched so tightly that the stretched skin on his knuckles turned a deathly white.  Akito enjoyed his suffering and continued on.

               "But I survived.  I survived with the hatred for you and the promise of vengeance," he took out an aristocratic gun and twirled it playfully with his fingers, spots of light reflecting off the golden veins engraved on the gun.  "I went to the top of one of the most influential mafias in a matter of _weeks._  I supplied those five-hundred Serpents to Mariemeiya's Army.  The weapons, the power—they are all mine.  I did this—just for this day to arrive when I can finally send you to hell!"

               Heero's voice was low and quiet, threatening to the normal ear, but he trembled beneath that controlled tone.  "I can understand why you want to avenge your sister's death.  I can't deny the truth of what happened that day, Akito.  But this revenge is only for me."  The grin slid from Akito's face and he glared.

               "No," he spat contemptuously.  "My revenge isn't for you alone.  It's everything you have!  Those you hold dear, those you speak with!  The universe that you created with your stained hands...a universe without my sister—only that could equal the sin you committed!"

               Heero felt numb.  All of the attacks against those he knew were because of him.  Because he had talked, worked, and fought with them, they were almost killed.   

               He yelled angrily back at Akito.  "Then it wouldn't be revenge—it would just be slaughter!  If Yukino had wanted revenge, she wouldn't want this!"

               Akito threw the gun at the former soldier's face.  Heero didn't bother to dodge and felt the hard object slam against his face, leaving a steam of blood at his temple.  The red-haired man bit his lip in rage so hard that his lip bled.

               "You have no right to speak my sister's name, or even about slaughter, you who had taken many lives," he snarled. Carelessly wiping off the blood from his mouth, Akito pointed a finger at Heero threateningly.  "Try and speak her name again.  Try and I'll send more than enough missiles to destroy five thriving colonies."  Heero looked down at the ground, silenced.  Akito looked away from the pitiful man; he couldn't stand to see his pathetic face. There was a tense stillness surrounding them.

                "Six days."

               Heero looked up, startled.  "What?"

               "After six days, my 'Earthly Justice' will begin.  My sister loved the quiet.  So that's why I'm going to keep this battle personal and quick.  Five other people—those who want revenge from the Gundam pilots just as I do—and I will fight you in Antarctica.  If you have any complaints, I can gladly destroy a colony and make those complaints their concern."  With a sadistic smile, Akito turned around and began to walk away.  Heero wrenched his eyes from the ground and yelled.

               "Tell me, Akito!  Is there any other way than fighting you to atone for my crime?  Answer me!"  The red-headed man stopped in mid-stride.

               "No, but you can suffer," and he left the forlorn sinner to his anguished reflections.

~~~***~~~

               Sighing, Trowa leaned his head against the wall, his arms crossing over his chest.  He had contacted Quatre and found some startling information: all the former Gundam pilots were being attacked.  It wasn't surprising by then that she would show up.  What was worse that he had trouble hiding all this from his sister.  It was only a few hours ago since his reunion with his childhood friend, if you could really call her that...

               _"Seven years pass... And now you are no longer the traveler looking for a home.  Now you are no longer without a name...  But are you no longer without a past?"_

_               "After so long...why are you here, Midii Une?"  Trowa avoided her question._

_               "I'm here to make you remember."  Then a bitter, painful smile crept up her face.  "And I'm here to make you suffer."_

_               He replied softly, "What...have I done?"_

_               "You killed me."  The cold words cut through the air like a knife and Trowa could almost see the dullness in her wintry eyes in the distance between them.  "And this empty corpse wants to have its vengeance."_

_               There was a long pause.  "You've got the wrong guy.  I'm not Nanashi, the one you seek vengeance from.  I am, until my death, Trowa Barton."_

_               "Alas...It does not matter to me, for you are still the same person, with or without a name."  Before the young man could reply, she took out a small mechanical device from her side pocket of the suit, placing on her flat palm, the same smile playing on her lips.  "A small device as this, Trowa...can cause a so much damage, don't you think?  One press of the small red button self-destructs the Serpent, causing a large enough explosion to engulf you, me, and your dear sister, in an inferno.  In fact, it could damage the colony as well."  _

_               Trowa narrowed his eyes. "It's too easy for you to kill me like that."_

_               "Don't think of me as low as to do such a thing," her calm voice hinting at anger.  "Even a worthless girl like me has her honor.  It was only a threat to force you into receiving my revenge."_

_               "What do you have planned for me?"_

_               "Death," she answered sweetly, as if giving him a present, with sadistic amusement lit in her eyes.  "I want to kill you with my own hands and hear you scream in agony, just like how I died. In seven days, serpent against Serpent in the heart of space, we will find where we stand—me, the avenger above you, the one who deserves the justice.  If not—" She threw the destruct button in the air and deftly caught it.  "Then the things that you have found will be lost."  Leaving the words hanging in the air, she turned away and returned to the cockpit, placing the helmet on her head once again._

_               The mobile suit started up, the heat boosters flaring up.  The hot wind was so strong that it even slightly blew the stiff shock of hair that hung over Trowa's face as he stood solitary on the ground.  A large military shuttle flew overhead and the MS entered its cargo ramp.  Seconds later, just as the weapon had entered, it was gone._

_               "Hey?" he turned to the sound of Catherine's breathless voice, his eyebrow raised in question.  She furrowed her brow worriedly, "Are you all right?" Smiling apologetically, she added, "Sorry I didn't stay where you told me to, I wanted to see if you're okay, but you..." _

_               Trowa was silent and she looked closely at him as she finished her sentence.  "...You seemed sad."_

_               He blinked, but the surprise in his eyes flickered away in an instant, leaving only fathomless jade depths.  "Let's go to the Preventers."_

               Now, it's been almost four hours since they've arrived at Headquarters and his sister had been relentlessly questioning him of the mysterious pilot's appearance and of many other things.  However, he didn't give her the answers she wanted and Catherine gave up on her interrogation.  With a sigh and a sad smile, she squeezed his arm and left the room to his own thoughts.

               Trowa had never thought of Midii Une much since he had left her—she was just a girl he met in his path for only a fleeting moment.  To him, she had fulfilled her job and went back to her home, while he had to search for his own home.  Ironic that in the end, he had found what he had searched for and she had lost what she tried to protect.  

               He wondered now...  How would he be able to fight her?  He treated her just like he would treat those of his kind—the kind of people that were torn and miserable from war.  His old belief 'anyone who attacks me is my enemy' was long discarded.  He had learned that although they were enemy soldiers, they were human and he had slain many of them.  It was the raw fact that he had to face.  And after going through so much, the former soldier had lost his desire to consider anyone 'enemies' or even fight.  He knew that the other Gundam pilots felt the same.  But currently, with the sudden attacks, it seemed like there were people avenging against the five boys.  With all they had suffered, what would they do now?  The answer seemed too far to reach even for the likes of the intelligent young man.

               "Trowa?"

               He glanced up at the call of his name and found the deep grey eyes of Catherine.  Unlike the icy grey he clashed with earlier, warmth and concern radiated from those meaningful eyes.  Suddenly, his mouth curved into a rare smile.  How he could have been so stupid, he admonished himself.  The answer was right there, in front of him.  She opened her mouth to inquire him, but he unexpectedly grasped her hands and spoke.  

               "I'm not going to die, Catherine.  I'm not going to kill her, either."

               "What do—" Trowa continued on.

               "But my life of fighting will not end here.  Believe in me when I say this: I will fight to protect you and I will fight to save her.  Perhaps by then, I will be able to put my past to rest."  Confusion clouded her eyes, but she blinked away her questions and smiled back, just happy to see him find what he needed.  There were no words to be said for now.  When she embraced him, she didn't see his small and rare smile.

~~~***~~~

               _When did I begin to believe in the God of Death...? So long ago..._

The life monitor beeped monotonously, shrilly cutting through the stillness.  Its screen dimly lit up the two faces in the darkness.

               _"I don't believe in God, because I've never seen a miracle, but I believe in Death because I've seen lots of dead people!"_

_               I hated war; I hated all this suffering and death..._

               Cloudy amethyst eyes watched her pale face as she breathed in small steady intervals, her chest barely rising to inhale.  

               _"If they want war so much, why don't the people who like it fight each other and leave us alone!"_

_               War gave birth to orphans like me._

A calloused hand grasped her limp one and lifted her palm to touch his cheek.

_               "It's just by chance that I'm still alive. I might as well be the one to do the dirty jobs..."_

_               A worthless person like me should do the dirty work...but I lost what I cherished..._

A tear trailed down his cheek and slid to the side of Hilde's hand.__

_               "Sister Helen!"_

_               And then I realize that I didn't believe in the God of Death—I _was_ the God of Death, whose fingers touches those who will die._

His hand shook slightly, his fingers pressing her hand.  He looked away from her, his long bangs brushing softly against the hands on his cheek.

_               "I run and I hide, but I never lie!"_

_               I've never lied to you, but I've always hid these feelings inside of me, always running away from them._

Duo gently placed Hilde's hand down and picked up the duffel bag lying on the floor at his side.  The chair scraped harshly against the tiled floor as he pushed it back and stood up.  He smiled as his fingers gently pushed away the tendrils of dark hair from her sleeping face.

               "Goodbye, Hilde.  It was nice knowing you."  He turned away to the door, his hand resting on the doorknob.  He could feel his feet become lead, his heart wanting to go back.  He turned the doorknob slowly, fighting against the urge to see her face one last time.  And that was when he heard a tired and coarse voice break through the night, one that he wanted to hear so much again.

               "Duo?"

               He turned around, eyes wide in surprise and panic.  Hilde's midnight blue eyes blinked sleepily at him, her hand trembling to reach for him.  At once, the duffel bag was left forgotten on the floor and Duo was at her side again.  He scolded himself for not leaving before she woke, but inside his guilty conscience, he was grateful he didn't.  She tapped her fingers on the bed control, her eyes asking him to prop her up.  He did what she wanted him to do and gently lifted her up into sitting position.  She raised her head from the pillows, her mouth opening to speak more.

               "Shh..." he brought a finger to her cracked lips.  She lowered her eyelids and leaned back on her pillow.  Her fingers closed around Duo's hand firmly.  Duo smiled with bittersweet.  

               She knew.

               "Let me go, Hilde," he murmured, his eyes pleading.

               Her response was barely heard.  "No.  I'm not letting you run away..."

               "It was fun being with you.  For awhile, I forgot who I really am..." he chuckled a little.  "But I can't let you get hurt anymore than you already are."

               "Don't...don't run away!" she snapped, her cheeks flushed in anger.  He was startled.  "Why—why do you hide?  Can't you see that I don't care about this kind of pain?  Those men came after me...because of revenge." She closed her eyes.  "Duo, you can't escape from reality anymore.  You have to face it—face penitence."

               He stuttered out, "A-atone?  I'm...I'm the God of Death.  I've killed and people died around me.  There's no penitence for the God of Death, only death and misery."

               He was in denial.

               Her gaze hardened as she ruthlessly brought him to the truth.  "You were never the God of Death.  You were Duo Maxwell, a young boy who killed so many people."

               Tears flood the wide pools of violet.  Years of disillusion slipped him by, leaving him suddenly bereft. He arched forward, a sob bursting from his throat.  His words were a jumbled mess, a mirror to the chaos raging in his mind and soul.

               "Why did so many people die?  If I didn't steal that mobile suit, I could've died happily along with them.  If I didn't become a stowaway in the Sweepers ship, I could've just been a worthless orphan.  I loved life.  I loved people.  And I prayed to God everyday that I wouldn't have to take another life or He wouldn't take one either.  But there was never a God, Hilde, because he never answered my prayers."

               "I...I wanted so much to have the power of life and death, so I could keep those I love from dying and those I hate from living.  But as one by one, people died by my hands, and I realize I wasn't changing anything.  I was just making more orphans like me and more hatred like the one I felt.  I don't know who I am.  Am I a believer of God, carrying a cross, or am I a believer of Death, carrying a scythe?  How can I give back the life I stole from them?"  Hilde's eyes softened in sympathy.  She cradled his head in her lap, stroking the long brown strands of his hair.

               She had only one word as the answer.  "Live."

               He looked up at her, puzzled.  "What?"

               "Live," the corners of her mouth lifted into a smile.  "For those who died, keep on living.  As you continue to live, atone by giving back life.  God of Death was never with me.  Only you, the person I've loved.  So don't run away—from these realities and truths, from me, and from yourself."

               "I..." He closed his eyes.

               _The truth is painful.  But it is the time for me to find it.  That's the only path I can take now.  To rest these demons in me, to be with her, and to wake up from this peaceful dream, only to realize that it was real after all._

               "I won't run away."  With much effort, he grinned shakily.

               Hilde smiled wider.  "Just remember...that I'll always be with you.  You've protected me before."  She hugged him closer to her chest, a tear slipping down her cheek as she whispered the promise into the night.

               "Let me protect you now."

~~~***~~~

               The coffee was black and strong, the steam rising out of the mug to swirl in the cold air.  Relena leaned her head down to the hot mug, basking in the warm, comforting mist.  With her eyes closed, she felt the quiet blanket over her as she waited on the black couch.  Her Arabian friend tapped his finger steadily on the desk, the ever-present anxiety on his face.

               "Where could he be?" Quatre asked, frowning.

               "He'll be here.  Don't worry, Quatre." She smiled slightly.  "At least he didn't catch us on the way back."

               "Still, we haven't seen him for five hours.  It's past nine now."  He brought a hand over his eyes.  There was something wrong, he could feel it.  He didn't want to tell Relena, but at the hospital, during the visit, he felt his chest constrict in pain suddenly.  He couldn't breathe for some moments until it ceased as quickly as it had came.  

               It was his Heart of Space warning him.

               He hadn't felt his empathy since the war and now he was left wondering what could have stirred it awake.

               Then the door clicked open.  It was Heero.  Quatre's aquamarine eyes widened as he realized how true his premonition was.  Heero was slumped forward in defeat, his Prussian blue eyes dull and lifeless.  What could have happened?

               It was the same question Relena had asked herself, but she knew it was not time for questions and answers.  Quatre opened his mouth to call his comrade's name, but Relena's small hand gesture stopped him.  She glanced at him briefly and slightly shook her head.  Heero tripped and almost fell as he reached her, but with swift grace, Relena caught him.  Her eyebrows furrowed in concern when she noticed a line of crimson on the side of his face.  With Quatre's help, she had him sit on the black leather couch. She reached for a tissue box and with a jumble of the soft paper in a hand, she gently dabbed the blood away from his pale cheek.

               "Wha...Yu..." he murmured something incoherent.

               "Heero?" she questioned softly, as she leaned closer to decipher what he was saying.

               "What...do I do, Yukino?"  His eyes were blank and lifeless, the usual intensity and strength in the Prussian blue all lost.  Frowning, she gently laid him across the couch and closed his eyes.  

               She took Heero's hand in hers, her azure eyes clouded with sadness.  "It's not over yet, isn't it?"  Quatre silently stood by, his eyes cast down to the floor.  They knew the answer.

               No, it wasn't over.  In fact, it had only begun.

               The image of a defeated Heero was more than Quatre could bear.  While Quatre led the Gundam pilots in battle, it was Heero who taught them.  He was the perfect image of an honorable soldier, never doubting his power and decisions.  The former Sandrock pilot looked up to the Perfect Soldier, and to see him so overcome was like seeing no hope at all.

               "Quatre, could you leave the office?" Her voice broke through his thoughts and he looked up at her, startled.  Then, he smiled gratefully.  He wanted very much to leave the room.

               "Sure.  I'm going to go get some coffee then."

               "Thank you."  He was in the middle of turning the knob when he paused in mid-thought.  He realized suddenly.

               Heero's hope lied within Relena.

               He locked gazes with Relena and an understanding that needed no words passed between the two of them.  She made a nod and he let out a relieved sigh.  With a hopeful smile, he opened the door and stepped out of the room, leaving the two in their solitude and solace.   

~~~***~~~

               Walking numbly forward in the carnage and burnt remains of a city, Heero kept on questioning himself, his eyes staring dully at the gun that was gripped so tightly in his hand.  He said he would not have to kill anymore...but now, he has to take up arms against a person he had no desire to fight with.  

               He hated it.

               No, he hated himself for being so confused and lost.

               Carrying the name of the famous old peacemaker, Heero had a strong sense of direction and goal.  For a boy who had no identity, it was a great gift and responsibility at the same time.  He knew where he would go and would stop at nothing to get there, and had succeeded.  He had no regrets of ending the war, and he by then had gained an appreciation for his life.  He was capable of leading his own life, free from war.

               But the appearance of Akito Asayuki further opened the door to uncertainties.  He has helped the universe gain peace, but he had taken life in compensation.  His beliefs and his feelings conflicted with each other; his beliefs told him to live and on the other hand, he felt he had an obligation to receive death from Akito.

               In the midst of his thoughts, he tripped on an object and almost fell over if he hadn't had the soldier's grace to steady himself.  He turned his head to glance at the intruding object, but his eyes widened, aghast to find a very familiar teddy bear lodged in the snow.  Yet he couldn't bring himself to pick up the stuffed animal.  It was a symbol of peace and he was far from the right to have it.  He was covered in blood and he held the symbol of death, a black gun.  A shadow, once again, appeared in his line of vision and he glanced up.  Strands of golden hair brushed his cheek as soft as silk as she passed him by, her slender figure pale and bright in the dim surroundings.  His eyes followed her graceful footsteps, murmuring more to himself than her.

               "Relena?"  He began to chase after her, his hand reached out to touch her shoulder.  "What are you doing here?  Relena!"  When he finally caught her attention, she turned around and revealed to be...Yukino.  He stumbled back as Yukino's cold stare struck him ruthlessly.

               "Yukino!" he sat up from the couch, panting hard as he returned back to reality.  He must be going mad to hallucinate so much.  Yukino's phantom haunted him everywhere now.

               _What do you want me to do?_ He asked her.  Nothing came out of the question.

               "Heero?"

               He felt her hand warm his and turned to look at her.  Her eyes were questioning him, confused and melancholy.  But he couldn't tell her, not now.  There was no use in giving her the weight of his pain because she didn't deserve it.

               "I..."  He wanted to say that he was okay, but those words died away in his throat.  She wouldn't believe it.  Sighing, he slumped down on the couch, staring at the white ceiling with unseeing eyes.

               That blank look in his eyes pained Relena, but she gathered strength within herself.  Questions filled her mind, but she held them back.  What he needed was comfort to his haunted dreams and a smile.  There was time for him to tell her later.  For now, let him rest.

               _And let me be with you..._ she silently added.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Stretches arms wide* Whew...that was a long one, everyone.  It took me two weeks to edit, and that was without my beta-reader.  I decided to post it up on a couple reasons, being 1) my beta-reader is incredibly busy nowadays and I didn't want to bug her 2) After the completion of You Only Came, I was terribly behind 3) I've edited this part so many times that I'm anxious to publish it. 

So there you have it, folks.  Please kindly review and tell me what you felt about this part.  I was quite attached to this chapter.

As for the reviewers of Prologue and Chapter 1, I'm glad to receive such positive feedback.  The next few chapters will die down, so there won't be much action scenes until chapter seven and eight.  To make you the readers ponder a bit, think about theme of this story.  ^_^ I felt a lot to write about this particular theme.

Fierysable - ^^;; Gomen for posting without your beta-reading.  I just couldn't wait.  Don't worry though; I'll need your help in the later chapters, especially the action scenes.

The Black Rose – Ha!  I passed the cursed Chapter 1!  ^_^ I remember that I stopped at Chapter 1 for the original version.  But I got this one through!  Yay!


	4. Confessions

Title: Atonement: To Love, Protect, and Forgive

Author: Kenhime

Genre: Drama/Romance/Action

Disclaimer: -_- I don't own Gundam Wing, but I do own the new characters in the story.

Summary: What is atonement? For five young men who bloodstained their hands for peace, they can't find the answer. In AC 197, one vengeful man strips Heero away his certainties and the girl he loves, leaving him to search for the answer to atonement.

Author's Note: I had to do a total revision of this chapter. Hopefully, as I say again, this portrays the characters as I want them to be.

Chapter 3: Confession

               Akito Asagao stood rigidly before the desk, his brooding hazel eyes expecting an answer from the man sitting behind it.  Glenn Caldwell paid no attention to his superior's dark gaze as he connected the blue and green wire carefully together, smiling triumphantly when the device began to buzz.  Akito's right-hand man was not the kind to be easily distracted from his work, but there was mutual respect between employer and employee, and Akito was not fazed by Glenn's way of doing things.  Finally, pushing away the stray blond locks of hair away from his hardened blue eyes, Glenn looked up at Akito.

               "Six days will be fine.  By then, it'll be finished."

               The other made an approving nod.  "I trust whatever you are doing will help our Jinchuu."

               "Yes, of course," Glenn scoffed, and turned his attention back to the strange mechanical contraption.  Surrounding the middle-aged man were jumbles of wire and cluttered devices.  Computers and similar machinery were station to his left and on the right were covered rows of unknown objects.  The lack of ventilation in Glenn's basement office caused the air to be extremely thick with putrid and metallic smells.  How the intelligent and physically fit man like Glenn could work in such an environment was a mystery (though not a concern) to Akito.

               The taciturn mafia boss turned around and ascended the stairs, leaving his assistant to his own devices.  The air become cleaner and lighter, and as he reached the ground floor, he inhaled deeply.  He was nearly in his office when he heard his name.

               "Lord Asagao!"

               His head swerved to the direction of the shrill voice and saw two heads, one brunette and the other raven, come into view down the hallway.  The two people he'd been expecting for had arrived.  The brunette was a tall, slender Romanian woman by the name of Delia Eftemie, who had called his name when she spotted him.

               "How are you?" she grinned seductively, her bright green eyes sly and shrewd.

               He considered her with a pair of cold, detached eyes.  "I'm fine, Delia.  How was your flight?"

               "Smooth—I didn't get in trouble.  Security was pretty tight, but I was able to evade it," she grinned and patted her silent companion on the shoulder.  "I brought him here for you."

               He turned to look at the middle-aged German.  "Edel Lughaidh."

               "Akito Asagao," the dark-haired man acknowledged quietly.  The two men tensed suddenly, their gazes measuring the other's strength and possible weaknesses.  It was a natural habit of the mafia.  Delia shifted her feet from side to side, wondering if the exchange of glares would break into a fight.

               The phone in Akito's office rang.  The connection was broken as both men's eyes flickered to the opened door.  "The battle will be in six days," Akito informed them.  He pointed down the hall to his right.  "Your rooms are down there.  Please feel free to do what you like in the remaining days.  My office is right here when you need me.  Now, if you please excuse me..."  He left them in the hallway, shutting his door with a resounding click.

               "Now what just happened there?" Delia stared at her comrade in askance.  

               "Nothing that matters to you," Edel responded coldly as he turned away from her.  Delia sniffed at his rude reply and with an indignant flip of her wavy hair and an irate mutter, followed behind him to their rooms.

               When Akito seated himself at his large armchair, he flipped the switch on the ringing videophone.  The screen lit up brightly, viewing the face of the last member he had also been expecting.  Among the four, she was the most skilled, highly proficient in the arts of stealth, weaponry, and piloting.  Her delicate features and frail figure was deceiving to the normal eye, and she was not one to be taken lightly.

               "Hello, Midii," he said.

               Those emotionless silver eyes gave no greeting back to her comrade.  "Target's location is annihilated and message sent," her voice clipped like that of a born-soldier.

               "Very well." His compliment didn't change her cold expression.  "Will you report to the hideout on time?"

               "Negative, I fight in space."

               Frowning at her defiance, he asked, "Why?"  

               Her wintry gaze was unwavering to his menacing hazel ones as she snapped, "Do remember that you lead the Jinchuu group up until the plan takes effect.  Our mission was done by your orders, now this—is our own battle."

               There was a long pause before the thin grim line of Akito's mouth broke into a smile as brittle and fake as his amity with his colleagues.  "Then do what you may choose."

               She didn't reply, but a malicious smile crossed her lips and the screen flickered off as the line disconnected.

               Akito stared at the blank screen for a moment before leaning back on his chair as it creaked under his weight.  He sighed.  "Their lust for the Gundam pilots' blood is so great that they are like puppets under my string...  It's pathetic."  His eyes wandered to the lone picture frame on the desk, the picture of an auburn-haired girl smiling warmly back at him.  His fingers strayed to touch the cold glass of the frame, imagining that he was truly touching his sister's beautiful face.  His eyes softened as he looked at her.

               "But it doesn't matter, sister, as long as you're here with me...always.  Just you and I, for eternity."    Tears slipped down his sallow cheeks and he bowed his head, a sob convulsing his body.  His fingers curled into a tight white-knuckled fist.  "Why..."

               "Why did you have to die?"

               The image of Yukino kept on smiling.

~~~***~~~

               "You ready?"

               Hilde zipped up her bag and looked up.  She froze at the sight, her heart pounding in her ears.  Duo was leaning against the stark white wall, the adjacent window streaming soft light onto his lean form.  His eyes were a serene and gentle amethyst, so clear and bright that she felt herself drawn to them.  

               He blinked in puzzlement.  "Hilde?"

               The spell was broken and she looked away, cheeks tinted with pink.  "Yeah, let's go."  With a grin, she threw the duffel bag at him.  He caught it one-handed with ease.  "Darn," she pouted playfully.  "I was hoping it would hit you in the face."

               He grinned back at her.  "No chance, babe."

               She glowered at him, "Duo..."

               "Oops, I mean, err...My sunshine?"

               With a frustrated sigh, she pushed him out the door.  "Never mind, I give up."

               Their easy banter continued down the parking lot until Duo suddenly grabbed her arm.  "What?" she asked, her expression puzzled.

               Laughter twinkling in his eyes, he said, "Can't you remember which one's our car?"

               Bewildered, she gestured at the parked cars in the lot, "But...I don't see..."  Her sentence trailed off as he pointed out the car.  Her mouth was wide open in shock and disbelief as she stared.

               Last she had seen it, their old Honda Accord was so dusty that its color looked more like a rusty brown than its original dark blue.  Various scratches and dents were supposed to be there, courtesy of Duo's daredevil driving skills.  But now, what was parked in front of Hilde was so different that at first, she couldn't even recognize it.  It was a shiny blue Honda, so flawless it looked like it was bought straight from the dealership if it wasn't for the rusty license plate.

               She shot him a skeptical glance.  "Are you sure that's the right car, Duo?"

               He dangled a pair of keys over her eyes mischievously, "Well, what do ya think?"  He opened up the trunk, revealing a jumbled mass of papers, water bottles, and tools, which left no doubt in Hilde's mind that it was really their car.  He tossed in the duffel bag and slammed it shut.

               "Why did you fix it up?" she asked as they got into the car.

               "Oh, it's your birthday present."

               A pause.  "But wasn't my birthday two weeks ago?"

               He scratched his head sheepishly.  "Well, it took longer than I thought."  As he turned on the engine, he cocked his head at her boyishly.  "Miss my driving?"

               The response he received was a flurry of movement as Hilde hastily fastened her seatbelt, adjusted her passenger seat, and held firmly onto the available handles.  She slightly winced as a small shot of pain went through her ribcage, but she inhaled a deep breath and looked at him straight in the eye.

               "Bring it on."

~~~***~~~

               Running a hand through his blond hair, the over-stressed Arabian picked up his empty coffee cup for the sixth time to get a refill.  However, as he walked down the hallway, he spotted the familiar braided pilot and a petite dark-haired girl coming through the elevator.

               "Hey, Quatre!" Duo waved his arm, grinning.

               Quatre smiled as they approached.  "Duo and Hilde, how are you guys?"

               "Great, man.  How about you?"

               "I've got a lot of things on my mind, lately, and," his congenial tone turned serious as he pulled Duo to the side, "I need to talk to you alone in Trowa's office."

               Duo shook his head, "Hilde has a right to know, as well, buddy-boy."

               Quatre protested, "But she doesn't have to suffer—"

               A wry smile crossed the other man's lips.  "Trust me, she already did."

               Quatre's aquamarine eyes widened in surprise and question, but he gave in.  He glanced at the both of them grimly and gestured to follow him into the office.

               Minutes later in the office, after Quatre had told them of the current news, Duo dropped his head with moan into his arms, which rested on the top of the reversed chair.  Likewise, Hilde visibly slumped in defeat.

               "So you mean to say that..." Duo's voice was muffled by his black shirt sleeve.  "Wufei's an ass, Heero's a dumbass, and Trowa's just stuck in the ass."

               Unfazed by Duo's crude summary, Quatre defended, "Wufei's helping us.  He's in charge of the investigation behind the mysterious supplier of the Barton Foundation's Serpents.  It's just that he doesn't want to get involved with Heero and his personal matters—"

               "Right," the Deathscythe ex-pilot scoffed, "Everyone's already involved.  Whatever's happenin' with Heero hell ain't personal anymore."

               "Heero just needs some time alone—"

               "Heh, like I don't—"

               "Trowa can't come to Earth because the colonies are being threatened.  He'll come as soon as the matter's finished."

               "Not that I have anything against Trowa, but dammit...this sucks."  He lifted his head, frowning.  "Where's Heero?"

               "He's in my office with Miss Relena," Quatre raised his eyebrows.  "Why?"  

               Duo stood up from his chair and stormed out the doorway.  

               "Wait, Duo!  Are you going to disturb him?" Quatre protested as he caught up with him.  Hilde followed closely behind.

               "He needs a good punch," the other man declared as he pushed Quatre's office door wide open.  He found Heero resting on the couch and Relena beside him on another chair, holding his hand.  The honey blonde head turned to face him with a finger poised on her lips to quiet him, but he didn't see her.

               Duo froze in disbelief at the sight.  He had hoped that Quatre's words were not true, but the proof was right there.  Those Prussian eyes had no spark of life; it was just a blank.  His throat tightened and he looked away, his hands clenching hard until the knuckles turned white.  He wanted so much to punch Heero across the entire continent at that moment, to wake him up and be the Heero Duo had always known.  But for the sake of Relena and the others that were there, he held back.

               And deep down, he knew that even if he did hit him, it wouldn't make things any better.

               Frustration mounted from this helplessness until he couldn't take it anymore.  Duo flew out of the room.

               Her eyebrows furrowed in frantic worry, Hilde followed after him. "Duo!"  She reached to touch his shoulder, but he abruptly turned around, mauve eyes hardened with fury and hysteria.

               "Did you see him?" his voice choking.  "Did you?"  She lowered her eyes in answer and he leaned against the wall with a loud thump, a hand covering his eyes.  "I've never seen him like that.  I wanna kick his ass so bad, but...it just...  Shit," he cursed.  "Shit, shit, shit..." with each profanity making him sink lower to the floor.

               Hilde's midnight eyes softened in sympathy, but she didn't want to see any more of his self-created anguish.  With her eyes hardening resolutely, she caught him by the arm and roughly dragged him up.  "Pull yourself together, Duo," she muttered angrily as she shook him by the shoulders.  "It's not going to make the situation any better if you're going to act like this.  We have to go through with this together and we will.  Now calm down and do what you need to do."

               He looked up at her, trying hard to take the strength she had.  His eyes blinked rapidly as he tried to clear his mind with resolve.  "We'll...get through it.  Heero won't end up like this," he said slowly, more to himself than her.

               Her head nodding, Hilde grasped his hand in hers and led him back into the room.  Biting his lip hesitantly, Duo came to stand next to Quatre, who had exchanged a few murmured words with Relena.

               "Well?" prodded Duo.

               "I don't know," Quatre sighed in frustration.  "He has all the answers to the questions, yet he's not answering to them at all.  We can't leave him alone now...we need those answers and I don't think we have much time left to get them."  Just when he finished the last word, Heero suddenly erected from his resting position, dull eyes blinking.

               "Heero...are you all right?" Relena's fingers rested on his arm as she gave him a worried glance.

               He slowly turned to consider her, a flicker of an emotion crossing his eyes before it disappeared in the void depths.  Listlessly, he stood up from the couch.  Relena stood up from her chair as well.  He was silent for a long minute, glancing at the expectant people in his room, before he hesitantly spoke, his hoarse voice barely above a whisper.

               "There's something...I need to talk to you about."  No one could say anything, and the colorless words drifted away like a wisp of a cloud.

               Until...

               Relena let out a soft sigh as she pushed her questions to the back of her mind and found in herself a comforting smile.  "You can tell us later.  You were bleeding when you came back.  Are you sure you're all right?" she lightly touched his cheek.  He bolted suddenly and his eyes grew slightly wide.

               _Her fingers are warm and soft...they're real..._

               He closed his eyes and caught her hand in his calloused one.

               _I don't know the answer to retribution.  I don't know how to end these nightmares.  _

_               But..._

"Heero?" she was startled by his shaky grip on her hand.

               _All I can do now is to protect what is real, to succeed in what I had failed before.****_

               Holding her hand in his, he straightened and his sapphire eyes, just as intense as before, gazed at those around him.   He spoke in a calm resounding tone.

               "I need to talk to you all...about this, from the beginning to the end."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Long Author's End Note:

               =_= Sorry for the chapter being short.  It acted as a short bridge from the beginning to the flashbacks.  Just to clarify, the next two chapters are about the past and it will answer the questions of Yukino and Akito.

               I am very happy of the feedback because my heart is very much into this story.  These young men just can't kill dozens of people, walk off whistling innocently and then go into big humorous/angsty romances automatically, be it Heero/Relena or Heero/Duo.  In fact, they have so many post-war issues to deal with I just _had to write this sort of thing.  _

               Of course, there are many of the authors (and perhaps the readers too) who could write this better than me, but I try.  ^_^; What I want to achieve in this story is to reach people with these questions of atonement...even if my writing's horrible, I'm content to know that readers can understand what I'm trying to say.  Just a side note, however, ^^; Heero and Relena's romance is just an addition, but I wanted to develop their relationship further than what the anime and manga did.

               Writing and dialogue will get a little different from here on, if you know what I mean.  ^^;; I sure sound cryptic.

               As I continue to write, please keep on reading.  If you find enough little thematic details in the story, you'll be rewarded with a big hug, an imaginary replica of Relena's teddy bear Hee-chan, and an extras chapter (which consists of a question/answer section and a cute little epilogue) at the end.  =)

Thank you to the reviewers, you really encourage me.  *bows* Please review...

Seshira – ^_^; I think I really need your help with the actions scenes...I'm kinda stuck on it....

Wing – The questions you ask in your review makes me really happy to know that you understand the themes.  =)


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